The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.
“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.
“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.
in order to cheer santana up, the glee club decides to console her by singing a song that exploits female homosexuality as titillation for straight men. as this happens, the straight men in the glee club ogle the girls sensuously stroking each other which totally doesn’t straight-up make a mockery of santana’s orientation or anything
and finn sings a song that has literally no relevance to anything and hopes no one will notice if he sings it soulfully enough
naya rivera is flawless but she cannot save this show
“For some stories, it’s easy. The moral of ‘The Three Bears,’ for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.’ The moral of ‘Snow White’ is ‘Never eat apples.’ The moral of World War I is ‘Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.”—Lemony Snicket (via 667darkavenue)
so my stepfather was like “jesse can you clean the entire house or wait are you going out?” so I said “um YES in fact I just on my way out so sorry nothing I can do”
I decided to go to the library even though none of my holds were in but season two of breaking bad was just sitting there on a shelf even though I requested it like a week ago so I grabbed it yay awesome
and also they had micmacs so now I can get my jeunet on yes yes yes